Not Like Regular Brides

Hey Weirdos. I’m engaged now, which is exciting. After a whopping 5.5 years, I’d say it’s about damn time.

So this means that I get to start planning a wedding. And let me tell you, I haven’t even picked out colors yet because anytime I do a Google or a Pinterest I’m blasted with navy, “wine”, rustic chic, a suspender on the groomsmen situation. It is literally like once all the women getting married choose a handful of colors, that’s it (where is this Infinity Scarf Harvest Table Council??)No other colors save for blush and heavy head to toe sequins are an option. Like if you did blush instead of yellow and gray in 2010, you were a cool girl. If you do blush instead of wine or navy in 2018 you’re a cool girl.

I like blush. No offense meant toward it. The thing is, I’m doing a fall wedding and all of my bridesmaids would look completely washed out. I mean, I want to be the star of the show, but I’m now going to screw up my pictures and friendships because I’m feeling insecure as a bride.

And then there’s the sequin option… love it. Seriously. If I could have it my way, my ladies would be in a gold cap sleeve gown eleganza. But have you ever seen the price on one of those bad boys? Not to mention they weigh like chain mail and I want my nearest and dearest ripping up the dance floor with out feeling like their about to rush into a medieval battle. Next.

And it’s not like I could even get to the fun parts yet.  I still had to find a place that wasn’t a generic ballroom at conference center.  But I was shocked…shocked I tell you how many people asked me what my wedding date was like, 2 weeks after he popped the question.  And I couldn’t answer because I hadn’t even found a venue yet.  I thought…oh this’ll be easy, we’re more than a year out.  There will be plenty of dates to choose from.

Guys. Wtf.

How does anyone get a decent venue in less than 20 million years out??  I don’t know how it is in other cities, but in mine,a few of my favorite venues (one that doesn’t even advertise that it does weddings mind you), are booked March to November…Fridays…Saturdays…and Sundays.



A friend of mine was only able to book a fantastic venue over looking the city around a year out is because it was literally a construction zone at the time.  I did in fact find a venue…it’s currently an abandoned warehouse.  It’ll be a kick ass urban winery in a few months…but I’m convinced we were only able to book it is because, it’s currently a fucking abandoned warehouse.  I will be a literally monster until I can see the finished product but at least there is a real actual brick and mortar location where I can shovel in my nearest and dearest.

So now this leads me back to the “fun” stuff.  The dresses, flowers, food, invitations, cake, blah, blah, blah.

I would like so say I am one of those people that has a grand vision and just goes with it.  But I’m not.  I mean, I know what I don’t like.  Mason jars, wooden boards with a white Alejandra or Emellie type face, a buffet, a guarder retrieve, a dollar dance, the fabric burlap, cash bar, the list goes on.

So this’ll be an interesting journey to say the least.  I have a bunch of forgiving friends and family who will mitigate my neurosis, but something tells my I’ll need a few bouts of therapy and a whole bunch of wine in the near future.  Just a prediction.

At the end of the day I’ll get to marry my best friend.  That being said the say better be 100% an expression of my self and my vision.  Totally chill.

Stay Fab.  Stay Weird.


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